Friday, July 15, 2011

Parrot Wielding Bunny Gets Burgled By Man Who Tends to Lash Out

It sounds like a headline out of Sheboygan. Dana Montana is a business owner with a singing parrot. Montana is an ex-Playboy bunny who found a window broken to her business and $5000 missing. She owns the Sugar Shack, a strip club in Lake Geneva in addition to the Dancing Horses Theater. This theater is described by Montana as “a fantastic cavalcade of equestrian artistry.” I don't know what that means.

A few weeks prior, Montana fired Rick A. Fores for an unknown reason from one of her businesses. After firing him, Fores continued to text message her relentlessly. Montana was too busy to deal with the text messages because her 15-year-old parrot named Echo was singing on the TV show “America's Got Talent.” A note was found on Montana's desk by police which threatened to give Montana's business files to the dreaded Internal Revenue Service.

Echo was eliminated from the competition on July 13, much to the chagrin of all who love singing parrots.

According to Rick A. Fores' disturbing text messages, he tends to “go for the jugular” when “u take away someone's livelihood and their ability to support their family.” He tends to “lash out” when this happens. He is currently roaming the community now that a judge let him out on a $10,000 signature bond. Community members have their fingers crossed in the Delavan Township hoping Fores will show up for his court date on July 26. God alone knows how he may lash out at any nearby people or parrots.

For a nice, creepy mug shot, check out http://gazettextra.com/news/2011/jul/15/man-arrested-theft-horse-theater/. In the photo, Fores appears to be looking for the world's jugular in order to sever it should it try and take away his livelihood and his ability to support his family.

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