Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Dryer is Crapping Out

Tammy Lynn, a self-described senior apprentice appliantologist, is “ready to blow a gasket.”

Her maytag dryer is “older than hills.” She put a normal load of clothes in the dryer. It made “about 4 turns” then clunked and stopped. She asked the internet for help because her dryer is “crapping out.”
Three hours later appl.tech.29501 told Tammy it sounded like the motor is going bad on the dryer. He then progressed rapidly to telling her he liked her “avatar” which is a pair of pink lips and a piercing.

His avatar is a white guy with glasses and a tan hat. I thought they might need to rent a chat room when he asked Tammy Lynn for her model number so he could “link you to the parts.” He added the dryer is “built like a tank and I would repair it until it can’t be repaired anymore.” Pretty aggressive of old appl.tech.29501.

It didn’t end there. She provided him with her model #. She began moving her timer knob “just a hair.” She joked she may have to “stand on my head on top of it while listening to the national anthem and playing the accordion with my thighs!” He told her to “get inside the dryer and find the blower wheel.” She found her dryer to be “fuzzy and linty, but clean otherwise.” The belt was tight, which was a problem for appl.tech.29501. He wanted Tammy Lynn to decide “how far you can go with the diagnostics because I have no idea what you are comfortable with.” Dryer doors, he warned, need to be shut securely so they don’t “vibrate open.”

He wasn’t rejected. She was “pretty much comfortable with whatever diagnostics you suggest.” She was amped to try her new voltmeter. She checked the voltage “from every area I could think of.” Afterward, Tammy Lynn realized no power was getting to the dryer because the breaker hadn’t tripped. She thanked him profusely and wrote in all capital letters “HUGS” surrounded by layer upon layer of bracketing symbols which, in essence, are hugging the word “HUGS.” Wo.

Appl.tech.29501 marveled at the beauty of their internet interaction and remarked: “just goes to show you that anything is possible.” Ab-so-friggin-lutely, appl.tech.29501.

I’m pretty sure they’re both adults, and this is their internet business.


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