Monday, April 27, 2015

When is the “Right Time” to Pump Up the Jam?

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Recently I received an email from a concerned mother who asked for advice on the following question:

Dear Mack:

Is there a right time to teach your kids to pump up the jam?

Since I get asked this question on a pretty regular basis, I figured it was time to address it once and for all. There is no right time to teach your kids to pump up the jam. When they're ready, they will pump up the jam. There is no universal time and date as far as child development goes to teach children to pump up the jam. Parents will know when that day comes because they will see their child pumping up the jam. No assistance or teaching is needed.

Pumping up the jam is intrinsic and instinctual. Although Plato may have established that all learning is remembering, Aristotle clearly articulated that at the most elemental level, pumping up the jam is a core feature of the human developmental experience. Some children first pump up the jam at age 5. Some children pump up the jam at age 9. Obstetricians in New Jersey have over 30 confirmed cases of unborn children pumping up the jam in ultrasound images. My wife, who is 43 years old, still often pumps up the jam. 

The main thing is that when your child first pumps up the jam, it is essential to create a supportive environment. This can be done by making statements like “Wow, you can really pump up the jam!” or “Pump up the jam, __(name of child)__!” If parents are not supportive, children may not learn to value pumping up the jam at an early age and have to revisit it through some cognitive therapy later in life. If you take the time to encourage your children in their pumping up of the jam, you will “Make their day" as Technotronic clearly states.

One genetic tendency which is linked to early onset of pumping up jams is the proclivity toward neon colors and fanny packs. Examples can be viewed on the following You Tube video:

Pumping up the jam is not to be confused with jamming out, rocking out, head-banging, body surfing, mosh pitting, socking it to ‘em, or being footloose. It has nothing to do with adding sugar or strawberries to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or inflating basketballs or bike tires. Pumping up the jam is entirely a different phenomenon than all of these aforementioned phenomena.

Pumping up the jam has been documented as occurring more frequently during the following events:

  1.  at dinner time when you announce that dessert is going to be chocolate pudding
  2. at the issuing of the weekly allowance
  3. after earning a driver’s license
  4.  school/work letting out on Friday afternoons
  5. winning the lottery
  6. after earning a diploma or getting a 100% on a spelling test
  7. promotions at workplaces

You’ll find out if you do that. 

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